Okay, so Edelweiss Air is flying to Seattle. Big deal. Another metal tube in the sky, more screaming kids, and another excuse for SEA to become an even bigger parking lot.
Zurich? More Like Zzzzzzz...rich
The Port of Seattle Commissioner, Hamdi Mohamed, is "thrilled" about this "direct connection to the world-class city of Zurich." Thrilled? Seriously? Last time I checked, Zurich was just a place where bankers hide money and people eat cheese with holes in it. Give me a break. Are we supposed to be impressed that we can now fly directly to a place that makes Portland look exciting?
And the CEO of Edelweiss, Bernd Bauer, says it "underscores their commitment to connecting Switzerland with exciting destinations." Exciting? Zurich? Is he high? Maybe the Swiss chocolate is laced with something...
They say it's "situated where the lake meets the mountains." Okay, so is Lake Washington. And we don't need to pay a grand to get there. I mean, offcourse, Switzerland is pretty and all, but is it worth the hassle of airport security, lost luggage, and overpriced pretzels? I think not.
Water Cannons and Wet Underwear
Then there's this whole "inaugural flight" celebration. Edelweiss Flies to Seattle & I Get Soaked! : AirlineReporter was there and got soaked by the water cannon salute. Soaked! He was "giddy" about it. Giddy? Dude, you got hosed down like a stray dog. I guess some people get their kicks in weird ways.
Look, I get it. New routes are good for business. But let's be real here. This isn't exactly the second coming of the Concorde. It's just another flight to Europe. And knowing SEA, it'll probably be delayed anyway.
58 Services to… Who Cares?
SEA now offers 58 services to 36 international destinations. So what? It's not like I'm suddenly going to become some jet-setting playboy. I'm still going to be stuck in traffic on I-5, eating ramen in my underwear.
And "Trusted Traveler Programs like Mobile Passport Control and Global Entry streamline travelers’ entry process." Yeah, if you're not on some government watchlist. Otherwise, enjoy the cavity search.
I'm just saying, all this hype for another flight seems a little much. It's not like they're curing cancer here. It's just a way to get from point A to point B, with a layover in hell (aka O'Hare).
So, What's the Real Story?
Look, I ain't saying Edelweiss Air is the devil incarnate. But let's not pretend this is some revolutionary event. It's a flight. It'll get you there, maybe on time, maybe not. And you'll probably be broke and miserable by the time you land. Just another day in the wonderful world of air travel.